Over the years I’ve found myself occasionally waking at 3:00 a.m. only to find worries and doubts running amok in my mind like squirrels trapped in a cage. The frantic energy and desperate nature of these “thought squirrels” keep me from getting back to sleep. Sometimes just the daylight helps to relieve some of the stress. But other times it carries right on into my day. The question we all have during these times is how to turn those fears around. How do we find relief? How do we open the cage and let those squirrels out? To find the answer we can look into what stress is and what it does.
No Inherent Meaning
Nothing has any meaning until we assign a meaning to it. This seems counterintuitive and is difficult for some to believe. But here are a couple examples of how this is true.
Is rain good or bad? If you’re a farmer trying to grow crops during a drought, rain would be a very good thing. If, however, there are boats going down the street in front of your house because of flooding, rain would be considered bad.
What about the 9/11 attacks in the U.S.? Were they good or bad? Let’s start with the facts. Four planes crashed: three into buildings killing thousands of people and destroying buildings. The fourth missed its apparent target but crashed killing those on board. For most in the U.S. the attacks were seen as bad. But not just bad, they were horrific, shocking, monstrous. But for some who perceived the U.S. as arrogant, domineering, immoral, these attacks were a triumph of their ideology over ours.
Nothing has any meaning until we have a thought about it, and that meaning is based entirely on our perception.
Stress is the same. Nothing is stressful until we perceive it to be so. Stress is caused not by circumstances, but by how we perceive those circumstances.
Our Body’s Reaction to Stress
When our mind interprets something as stressful it signals our bodies to produce stress hormones, otherwise known as catabolic hormones. Cortisol and adrenaline leap into action by tearing down our cells and tissues to free up the energy we need to deal with whatever urgent situation we perceive. Useful in the short term, but detrimental over the long term.
On the other hand, when we don’t perceive a threat, our bodies produce anabolic hormones like testosterone and growth hormones. These hormones rebuild and rejuvenate our tissues, building up our physical, emotional and intellectual reserves for the next time we need them.
Our experiences of stress or the lack of it are so visceral. And though those experiences are very real, they are created solely by how we interpret or perceive things. One of the basic ideas behind coaching is that our thoughts create our emotions which drive our behaviors which give us our results.
If you don’t like your results, then change your thoughts to those that would support the results you do want. If the result you’re experiencing is stress, then looking at how you interpret whatever is happening is the key to reducing that stress. What is the point of view that is causing the interpretation that causes stress? What other point of view would serve you better?
Is it really that simple? Yes, actually, it is. Is it easy? Though it may not always feel easy-peasy, it is not only possible it’s by far the most effective way to reduce stress. It’s possible. That’s the only thought you really need. Besides, how difficult you experience it to be will be based on your perceptions and expectations. Maybe that’s the first place to start in examining your thoughts: how easy is it to reprogram your thinking?
Here are two other blog posts about the steps to change your habitual thought patterns. Check them out for the “how to” part. (Choose Your Thoughts and Secrets to Breaking Habits)
© 2020, Paul Boehnke. All rights reserved.
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