Procrastinating on what you know you should be doing comes with plenty of costs you’re probably familiar with: scrambling at the last minute, doing less than your best work, maybe even a sense of guilt or shame.
But what about the payoffs? There must be some reward for procrastinating, otherwise we wouldn’t do it.
Usually people procrastinate because it allows them to avoid something else; often a particular emotion. Maybe we think we’ll be bored, or the work will be tedious, i.e. boring. Or maybe there’s a fear of failure. Maybe we’re afraid when we do attempt to do what we say we want to do, we’ll do a bad job. Or the feedback we get from others is that we didn’t do it well enough. Or that by doing something boring or tedious, we will have wasted our precious life.
By not doing something, there’s no risk of failing or experiencing the shame of not being good enough in one way or another. Who wouldn’t want to avoid those feelings?
There are also those who procrastinate because it brings them attention from others who are depending on them. Even if the attention isn’t so positive, attention is attention and satisfies a desire for connection.
For some it could be the drama that’s created by running right up to a deadline. The tension provides an adrenaline rush that makes them feel powerful and alive.
Clearly there are lots of reasons we procrastinate. And though those perceived payoffs are real, those payoffs also come with plenty of their own costs to our well-being: strained relationships, missed opportunities, and a numbing out of what makes us feel truly alive—our emotions.
If you want to stop procrastinating you need to figure out what the payoffs are for you.
Is it attention? Is it the adrenaline rush when you finally do it at the last minute? Or do you get to avoid some emotion, like fear?
It can even be as convoluted as proving yourself right. If you’ve got a belief that says you’re not good enough (in one way or another), not doing what is important to you will provide evidence that you are indeed a disappointment and you get to say, “See. I was right. I am no good.” That is pretty convoluted, but that’s how sneaky our negative self talk and destructive habits can be.
But when you get clear on the reasons YOU procrastinate, you also discover you have a choice to make. Are those payoffs worth the cost? Only you can decide that for yourself. Regardless of which way you go, your decision will then be a conscious choice rather than a reaction that makes you a victim to your unconscious habits. Making a conscious choice feels better and always puts the power of life back in your hands.
What are your payoffs for procrastinating? If you need help figuring that out, that’s what I’m here for. Contact me through the contact page on this site. We’re all in this together.
© 2022, Paul Boehnke. All rights reserved.
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